By Stuart Moore
Zwift's unofficial Cartographer, Stuart Moore, shares the story of his search for the lost Saloon and the Grand Watopian odyssey he discovered.
A retelling of Zwifter Stuart Moore’s epic quest to find the lost Grand Watopian Saloon. Will he find its new hidden location, or is the journey the real discovery? Read on intrepid Zwifters, and perhaps be inspired to attempt your own epic ride.
No-one knows when the Grand Watopian disappeared from the Old West town on the road to Saddle Springs, but it was definitely there last January. The Feugo Flats can be a dangerous place, and rumours of dirty rascal bike gangs taking over the saloon have spread throughout Watopia. Many riders now seek protection from the local Robo-Pacers and travel through the town quickly in large groups. The old Locomotive no longer stops at the station, it just hammers past
so fast that no rider can catch it.
I’ve enjoyed many rides throughout Watopia over the years and often found myself drawn to the Grand Watopian Saloon at the end of a ride. It seemed a fitting place to stop and be refreshed. Since late October I’ve been spending time over on the Southern Coast, taking in the sea breeze and enjoying a
beer at Mr Crank’s Crab Shack after a long ride. I recently found myself back in the Badlands of Feugo Flats though, and was shocked to discover that my beloved saloon has disappeared. It its place now is a rather large Church with its new white painted walls gleaming in the sunlight. Has Zwift entered a virtual-prohibition era? Perhaps the RoboPacer Cops have finally cleaned up the town and kicked those dirty rascal bikers out? Will he Old Locomotive stop at the station again (is there
even a station at the Old West town)? New Years Eve seemed like the perfect time to head out in search of answers and hopefully find the new location of the old Grand Watopian Saloon.
A Legend is Born—The Grand Watopian
I started in Downtown Watopia just before 7am. The mall area was already packed with other Watopians but there was no sign of an old Western saloon, so it was onto the Beach Island Loop heading towards the Volcano. I completed a full counterclockwise loop of the volcano circuit and then headed up the Volcano KoM for a better vantage point. I could see something in the distance near the Dirty Sopresa, so it was back down the Volcano and onto the land bridge towards the fountain.
After taking the Left turn past Pipo’s Pizza and towards JCW Bridge, the local Seals suggested I turn Right onto the short bypass road and Right again to loop back around to the Italian Village. They laughed as I came back round, but I just ignored them and headed over the bridge to the Esses and then Right back towards Downtown.
I had remembered seeing a Log Cabin in Titans Grove and thought to myself that could be a good spot for a saloon. After navigating to Titans Grove and past the log cabin, which had no beer sadly, I spied some new buildings at the foot of the short Titans climb that seemed promising. ** Taking a Right turn into Repack Rush and after managing to navigate the maze of green, red and blue obstacles on the road, I came out at the end of Titans Grove.
A quick Left then Left again to get back into Titans was in order, as I did not want to miss any possible locations. Completing Titans Grove Reverse, the was still no sign of the saloon, so I headed Left then Right back towards Downtown, and then Left to head up the mini KoM, but turning Right onto the Bypass Road to look down over the Downtown area. I took a Left to head around the KoM loop just in case, but with nothing found I took another Left back onto Bypass road again and then Right to head down past Hanks Garage and over the 360 Bridge. A quick Left and I was on my way to the Marina, and another Left put me on the road to Sequoia Circle.
(** For those without steering, you can skip Repack Rush and simply complete Titans Grove, then turn right, then right again to get back onto Ocean Boulevard and head to the mini KoM)
Remembering previous trips into the Alpine regions during Oktoberfest, I turned Right at the Sequoia tree and headed up the Epic KoM. With no time to stop in the quaint village of Millkommen, I continued travelling all the way up to the Radio Tower.
Frustratingly, I had still not seen any sign of the Grand Watopian, so I turned Left and headed back down the shorter side descent, taking a Right at the Ocean Clifftop Bypass, then a Left onto the Bridge. It was here that a fellow traveller joined my quest, and we turned Right towards the Desert, and made our way to the scenic Southern Coast.
After riding past the Crab Shack, Misty Pines Campground and the Lighthouse with no sign of the old Saloon, we thought we saw BigFoot but it turned out to just be a cardboard cut-out (when did Zwift add that? Genius!). The ‘Believe the Legend’ sign next to Herry’s Exploratorium spurred us on to the fiesta town of Ciudad La Cumbre, and towards the Mayan Jungle. We turned Right for the reverse loop of the Jungle, then Left onto the Mayan Bridge and Right again heading uphill past the Sloth and Right to stay on the Jungle Loop all the way back down to the Left turn towards Alpe du Zwift.
It was here that I said farewell to my companion and thanked him for his company over the last hour of my quest. I had been riding for 3.5 hours by this stage and was in need of snacks and fresh shorts.
Hoping to meet up with the Yeti on the Alpe, I pushed onwards, checking the Alpine Villages as I climbed. There was no sign of the Yeti unfortunately, and no sign of the Grand Watopian.
After ascending in 62 minutes and collecting another set of wheels, I headed back down the Alpe, taking a Left at the bottom and high-fiving the sloth on my way out of the jungle .. or is that a high-three? Taking the Left to exit Jungle Loop, then Left at the base of Epic KoM reverse to head back down past the Spruce Goose plane, it was a quick Right onto Ocean Boulevard and then all the way to the Desert turnoff. Another Right, and I was heading to the last piece of road to check – Fuego Flats.
Making sure that the Grand Watopian had not magically returned as I travelled through the Old West Town (nope, still a Church), I checked in Saddle Springs, then took the loop turn to retrace my path all the way back to the arch.
There was just one final small piece of road to check, the short Desert Turnaround. Such a long way back through the desert for a tiny stretch of tarmac, but at last my quest was over at the Feugo Flats Archway. After riding 164.5km, 2668m of elevation, and 5hrs 49 mins after starting, I still had not found that old saloon. It seems lost forever, living on only in memories and legend.
Reminiscing on a short cool down, I found myself back in front of the new church where the Saloon had once proudly stood. A pious reminder of what has been lost, but also a symbol of something new and pure that I found on a cool New Year’s Eve.
A truly epic route covering all Watopian roads with no u-turns – perhaps this is the real Grand Watopian!
Ride On.
Semi-retired after more than 20 years as the owner and director of a private Orthopedic Physical Therapy practice, Chris now enjoys the freedom to dedicate himself to his passions—virtual cycling and writing.
Driven to give back to the sport that has enriched his life with countless experiences and relationships, he founded a non-profit organization, TheDIRTDadFund. In the summer of 2022, he rode 3,900 miles from San Francisco to his “Gain Cave” on Long Island, New York, raising support for his charity.
His passion for cycling shines through in his writing, which has been featured in prominent publications like Cycling Weekly, Cycling News, road.cc, Zwift Insider, Endurance.biz, and Bicycling. In 2024, he was on-site in Abu Dhabi, covering the first live, in-person UCI Cycling Esports World Championship.
His contributions to cycling esports have not gone unnoticed, with his work cited in multiple research papers exploring this evolving discipline. He sits alongside esteemed esports scientists as a member of the Virtual Sports Research Network and contributes to groundbreaking research exploring the new frontier of virtual physical sport. Chris co-hosts The Virtual Velo Podcast, too.
