When this new DIRT member does Halloween, he does it well!
In the words of Tim Kreimer, himself.
This past weekend the family and I took the obligatory trip to the pumpkin patch. As I sat on the kitchen floor, tired from carving all of my family’s pumpkins after losing interest, I contemplated what I would carve.
I tend to spend more time and effort on this type of thing than I should. I easily fall victim to the mindset of “if it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well.” It sounds good in theory, but with a 4yr old and a 2yr old, I think my wife would prefer it if I settled for good enough. At least while the kids are awake and endlessly asking for snacks.
Nevertheless, while contemplating my carving, I quickly remembered the DIRT socks/headband/water bottle I just bought through the DIRT Dad Fund and I knew the DIRT Man Logo would make a great jack-o-lantern.
DIRT has been a great group. I joined a year or so ago. I’m sure many of the members do not know me. I ride less than most, a few times a month at best.
But if it weren’t for DIRT, it would be even less. The miles, watts, time, and Dad jokes are truly inspiring. I’m hoping to get in more miles this year, maybe even a few races.
Putting my wife’s mental health aside, I ignored my screaming kids and got to work. I started by drawing the DIRT logo on the pumpkin with a pen, easier said than done, but luckily a magic eraser easily takes the pen off a pumpkin. After several iterations, I got the DIRT man centered on the pumpkin.
I knew this would take a bit of strategy, so I numbered the sections I would cut out. I cut out the most straightforward sections first with a standard pumpkin carving knife. Side note on this pumpkin knife, my wife and I have moved many times and lost many things along the way, but somehow, we have managed to keep track of this $5 pumpkin carving kit.
It’s become a bit of a joke every Halloween when we manage to find it in the back of a long-forgotten cabinet or drawer. It’s old, bent, cheap, and we put zero thought into its location 11 months out of the year, but like death and taxes, this thing is ever-present.
Anyways, I then continued to cut out the more delicate sections. Finally, it was time to remove the sections holding the glasses and helmet partially. These sections need to be partially removed for aesthetics, but they were structural, so I couldn’t remove too much, enter the Dremel Rotary Tool.
Along with “if it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well,” another one of my ethos is “if you can find an excuse to use a power tool, you do it.” The Dremel made the delicate sections quick work, quickly and effortlessly turning the pumpkin to puree at 15,000 RPMs.
Proud of myself for the creative use of my Dremel, I was quickly humbled after I realized the mess I had made. Worse than anything my kids could have done, which is saying a lot considering some of the apocalyptic horrors they’ve made, there were tiny bits of pumpkin thrown around the kitchen.
There were pumpkin pieces on the stove, floor, cabinets, wall everywhere. In retrospect carving pumpkins with power tools is best done outside, lesson learned. But more importantly than the mess, I have an awesome pumpkin and impressed my wife and kids, or at least a few fellow DIRT riders.
P.S. Yes, I ride my wife’s pink Cannondale on Zwift. Yes, it’s embarrassing!
What DIRT or cycling-themed Halloween tricks or treats are a tradition in your family? Comment below! Your fellow DIRTs want to know.
For everything DIRT check out the DIRT Zwift Team page on The ZOM!
For the opportunity to get one of your own DIRT Skull logo pint glasses like this, visit the DIRT Dad Fund page of the ZOM tomorrow, Sunday, October 31st at 12pm est. Supplies are VERY limited, so if you want a chance at purchasing one, be ready when the link drops!
Semi-retired as owner and director of his private Orthopedic Physical Therapy practice after over 20 years, Chris is blessed with the freedom to pursue his passion for virtual cycling and writing. On a continual quest to give back to his bike for all the rewarding experiences and relationships it has provided him, he created a non-profit. Chris is committed to helping others with his bike through its work and the pages of his site.
In the summer of 2022, he rode 3,900 miles from San Francisco to New York to support the charity he founded, TheDIRTDadFund. His “Gain Cave” resides on the North Fork of Long Island, where he lives with his beautiful wife and is proud of his two independent children.
You will read him promoting his passion on the pages of Cycling Weekly, Cycling News, road.cc, Zwift Insider, Endurance.biz, and Bicycling. Chris is co-host of The Virtual Velo Podcast, too!